Poem: Longing

I asked for little; I received much.

I asked for much; I never received as much as

I wanted.

I wanted sentimental things: emotional bonds.

I received materialistic things as a substitute.

As if I was asking for sugar,

And received diamonds instead.

My true yearnings were kept quiet,

If I rejected them I would be ungrateful.

So I savored the proxy,

Knitting the diamonds in my growing collection

Into a chain that I could wrap around my tongue

To disorient my taste buds, make them believe

They had everything they wanted.

That I had everything that I wanted.

It was nothing but a pathetic attempt

To cover up my inner turmoil,

To close the curtains over the windows to my soul

In order to hide what I knew I could never have.

My life is filled with temporal sweets

Flavorless against my tongue as I have grown used

To the taste of disappointment.

My longing for passion from someone,

Anyone

Constantly drowned by my misery;

Waves upon waves crashing within my chest cavity

Like a never ending storm.

It is all I have ever known,

It is all I have ever felt,

And I can’t see myself feeling anything else.